Deferred Laughter

Q: Why did Macaulay Culkin have a pre-pay option?
A :Because he was Home (a)Loan.

Q: Why did I ill-treat the guy who gave me the building on lease?
A: He was a "lessor" mortal.

Q: What did Mr.AM say when he was undecided about whether to keep or return the leased property?
A: "Lessee" (Let's see)

Q: Why would a wallet be most handy during slot 3?
A: Because slot 3 takes its toll.

Q: Why did Clint Eastwood invest in the Stock Exchange?

A: For a few dollars more.

Since "mandatory" seems to be the buzzword of the week, laughing at these jokes has also been made mandatory. Fine?

Movie of the week

Releasing at stock exchanges near you!

The term that was

Prof. Gandhi responding to a CP on the depreciation of assets:

SG: "The man has died and is on his way to the mortuary and you want to give him a birthday gift?"

Prof. Dutta on a suggestion that we should call people to collect data on AIDS:

GD: "So, how will that be? (mock tone) Hello! I am calling from the Indian Insitute of Management, Ahmedabad. Are you infected with AIDS?"

Prof. Subhashini Kaul on "Hum"

DamRu: Ma'am we decided that....

SK: Who is 'we' ?

DamRu: Ma'am we as in our group..

SK: Oh. I thought it was the royal "WE".

Prof. Subhashini Kaul on the section's improvement.

SK: Sigh. After all this analysis and stuff you guys have not reached home. Yes, some of you have reached home but have jumped in through the window.

Prof. Sarin: So, what would you give your girlfriend - cash or gift?

Student: As an economist, I would give her cash.

AS: No wonder you have an ex!

(Apologizes and then explains the concept)

AS:...which is why as an economist, you should give her a gift instead of cash. It pays to know your girl's indifference curves. (Giggles all around)

AS: No no. I mean, you should know where her optimum point lies. Let me clear that up before Deepak starts smiling again!

But, this blog would like to give the "Best cold-call response award" to Deepak Iyer.

Prof. Madhavan: So, Deepak! What do we mean by 'understanding'?

Deepak (in all earnest): Sir...., Bihari Lal's quote?

As "Jyo Jyo doobe shyam rang" plays out in your mind, the first term at WIMWI comes to a close. All the best for the endterms!

(P.S: All of you can stand up and clap now, if you feel like it.)

AM's guide to Class Participation (CP)

We here at AM are always concerned about improving your lives in simple and small steps. This is one of those small steps. All of you would have noticed the sudden surge in number of debutants entering the sacred practice of professional CP putting, and when such a thing happens, errors abound. This feature, "AM's guide to Class Participation", will take you through certain categories, or buckets if you will, of CPs in which you can comfortably slot yourself and improve upon. Today, we will explore the art of PCP putting(Parasitic CP).

Parasitic CP: Inspired by viruses, this type of CP thrives on others' CP.

Requirements: No creativity or analysis required. Listening to others helps.

Procedure:

Step1: Attack the gap between someone else's CP and the professor's response.

Step2: Start with "Sir, what he/she means to say is....."

Step3: Use excessive passive voice and synonyms to spice your PCP.

Step4: Shaking your head vigorously and making wild gesticulations might help in confounding the professors into believing that you are saying something original.

Step5: Finish off with a confident air, slowing the bobbing of your head or leave the sentence halfway through so that one of your co-PCP members can 'leverage' on it.

Step6: @Next PCP putter: Repeat Step1.

So, what we are trying to say is.....

Captain Obvious strikes!

Captain Obvious claims one during Marketing Class!

"We don't use Nokia connection. We use Airtel connection."

Seven habits of highly effective managerial programmers

Some words of wisdom culled from our thoroughly enjoyable MC classes. Thank you Prof. Rao!

1. Be anti-Kabir in your approach towards excel programming. (For the unitiated, anti-Kabir is a philosophical position which goes against the much revered time management teachings of Kabir (Kal karai so aaj kar..blah blah). Anti-Kabir, as you might have guessed, is "Don't do today what you can do tomorrow and don't do tomorrow what you can do the day after".)

2. When in doubt, right-click.

3. Subject the screen to a "Stare Test". Most often the thing that you are looking for is somewhere there.

4. Things as simple as conditional formatting can give your non-MC friends (read: non-wimwi) an inferiority complex.

5. Take coffee breaks. Often. Like right now.

6. Be careful about the code you develop, as Microsoft might be lurking around to steal your ideas. They stole our =AVERAGEIF()

7. Money works, in life and in excel. When you want your cell references to behave, give them the $$ they want.

Our favourite Raoism is , "=INDEX(range, 1,0) is like Hanuman bringing the entire mountain when he did not know where Sanjivani was." All managerial programmers worth their code can laugh now.

Top-up, ChuKaPu

Hypothetical Laughter

Top-up, ChuKaPu

AbsintheMinded

Section A ka tempo

1.What is the objective?

To chronicle anything and everything associated with section A 2011.

2.What in the case makes you say that?
Too many random CPs and other funny incidents going unchronicled.

3.Have we (the royal we) performed the segmentation analysis?

Yes.

4.Is this an accounting problem?

No. But we need praaaaaactice.

5.So can you give me an example?

Okay... So , this is.. sort of... the blog.. like.. ummm.. see... sort of.. this blog.. ummm.. Ok.

6.Will I get the jokes on the blog?

Yes, you will when you understand this quote from Mr.Lal, Bihar. "Jo jo doobe shyam rang.."

Stay tuned.

Top-up and ChuKaPu

AbsintheMinded